Anarchist Reverend

theology, bodies, and more

A New Conversation About Money

June 18th, 2013

I notice a trend in progressive/liberal church circles and activist circles that I think we need to talk about. It’s the idea that everything should be free, no one should charge for their services, and that asking for money is off limits. And if you violate the rules: if you charge for something or ask for money you are shamed, considered a sell-out, or told you are not a good enough pastor/activist. bag_of_money

 

I want to talk a little bit about my own experiences with money and with trying to do ministry. First let me set the stage:

 

In order to be ordained I had to go to seminary. This was a three year, full time program that was incredibly expensive. I have A LOT of loans from that. I live in a city where the cost of living is relatively low, but definitely not cheap.

 

I work an almost full time job (32 hours a week). I currently get paid less than what I made when I was just out of college. I have the insurance that the United Church of Christ provides for their ministers which does NOT cover any of my medication nor does it cover transition related expenses (which is an issue for another post). Since there are only a few doctors in my city that will treat trans* people I pay for most of my medical needs (including all of my prescriptions) out of pocket.

 

In addition to working full time I also have three other “jobs” (I use quotes because while they are a lot of work there really isn’t compensation): Camp Osiris (of which I am the director), House of the Transfiguration (where I am a priest), and queertheology.com (where I develop course curriculum, etc.). None of these endeavors has denominational/institutional support.

 

All of these things cost money to run. For Camp we have to rent cars to transport people, pay per head to rent the cabins and food, buy supplies and snacks. All of this doesn’t even take into account that the staff are donating their time, that I am spending hours and hours beforehand handling logistics, planning sessions, creating materials, etc. And then there is the website fees, design costs, the time to keep our social media presence active.

 

For the church we have to buy supplies for communion, we have to buy chalices, patens, Bibles, coffee, snacks, promotional materials. Website hosting. And again there is a ton of uncompensated time put in. There are also the vestments that I have had to purchase for myself, not covered by the church and not cheap.

 

Why am I putting all of this out there? Because the reality is that to do this work and to do it well costs money. Quite frankly it costs a lot of money.

 

Could we do some of this stuff spending less money? Probably. And it would suck. We could print cheap booklets for camp, but honestly the cheap booklets *look* cheap. What does providing cheap materials say about us as a community? About the God that we serve? Certainly one can be wasteful, but I think one can also live out of scarcity and that’s just as bad.

 

A lot of this is about priorities: Some people have chided me for wanting to buy a projector and screen for House of the Transfiguration. That’s a waste of money, they say, just print worship booklets. But one of our values as a community is being accessible. The Mass can be hard to follow. Worship booklets are confusing. Not to mention, those booklets ALSO cost money and have to be replaced every week which is a waste of paper. If we buy a projector and screen, while there is a bigger initial investment, it will last a long time. It also makes the Gatherings more accessible for people. It is a priority for us to have a screen and projector so that we can live out our values and reach the people God is calling us to reach. So that projector and screen isn’t just a “cool toy” it is vital to our ministry.

 

Another complaint I’ve seen is people charging for their services. There seems to be this idea that you should offer all of your services for free for the good of the movement/church. But this mentality not only burns people out, it’s also not sustainable. After I work a full day at the job that allows me to pay my rent and eat, I am often too exhausted to come home and do the work I am called to. So either the work I am called to do doesn’t get done, or it gets done at a lower level than it could be done. If people were getting compensated for the work they were offering to the world it would free them up to worry less and do better work (and we’d all be better off). When I am less afraid that I won’t have enough money to buy groceries I am able to be much more generous with my time: I’m more willing to give time and energy to folks who can’t afford to pay.

 

There is no shame in charging for what you are doing. There is no shame in being compensated fairly for your work. This idea that somehow activists or ministers should be “above money” doesn’t take into account the reality that activists and ministers also need to eat and pay rent. Nor does it take into account that many of us had to get higher education degrees in order to get the knowledge and skills we need in order to do this work.

 

People (both as individuals and as organizations) make priorities every day about what matters to them. They decide what they value and what will help them live their lives to the fullest and do their work the way they feel called to do it. Just because someone doesn’t share your priorities doesn’t mean that their priorities are bad.

 

You don’t have to buy what I’m selling; you don’t have to donate to my cause. In fact, the onus is on me to create a ministry or a product that you do want to donate to or buy. And just because something doesn’t resonate with you and/or you don’t want to pay for it/donate to it you don’t look down on the person for asking to be compensated for their time and efforts.

 

There are no easy answers here, but it seems to me like we’re spending most of our time asking the wrong questions. The questions are: how much is too much to be paid? Or how much money should I spend? Or what should I spend my money on? The question is: How do we create a world where everyone has what they need and can do work that is fulfilling? How do we create systems and structures where there is no oppression? That’s what really matters.

 

This TED talk was really influential. I really encourage you to listen to the whole thing. Let’s continue to have conversations about better ways to think about money.

 

 

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Weekly Bookshelf

June 17th, 2013

When I go into someone’s house or apartment for the first time, I find myself especially drawn to their bookshelves. I want to see the books that they read and the ones they have on display. I like to know which ones have mattered enough to keep, which ones are dogeared and worn, and which are on the stack to be read next. DSCN0766

 

It’s Monday so that means it’s time for another edition of “What has Shay been reading?”

 

First up was Sign of the Cross: A Mystery (A Collins-Burke Mystery) by Anne Emery. This is another off that “clergy detectives” list, but in this one the priest wasn’t the detective, he was on trial. This book was okay. Definitely wouldn’t recommend it. The story was interesting, but it was told in the first person which is really hard to do well (and in this case wasn’t). There were also a lot of overly dramatic foreshadowing sentences like… “little did we know it was all about to come crashing down” or “little did we know we would never get that drink”. Yuck.

Next up was An Unholy Communion (The Monastery Murders) by Donna Fletcher Crowe. This is the third book in this series. Definitely not my favorite. The characters continue to be a bit uneven. Where Crowe shines is in her descriptions of churches and scenery and in her retelling of history. Both of those pieces have been excellent in all of the books (and honestly they are why I keep reading this series).

 

Lastly I read Let Us Pray: A Guide to the Rubrics of Sunday Mass (Updated to Conform With the Revised English Translation of the Roman Missal) by Paul Turner. Part of officiating at Mass is being able to lead the prayers while also knowing what all of the different hand positions, gestures, etc. are. This book is amazingly helpful. It walks you through the entire Mass, from before it starts to the very, very end, and describes (in somewhat painstaking detail) what needs to happen along the way. As someone who got some basic preaching and worship classes in seminary but who didn’t get the specifics of Mass, this was great to read. I walked away feeling a lot more confident in what needs to happen. It’s also helpful because it explains some of the history behind the gestures, explains when and how they have changed over the years, and really gets at the spirit of the rubrics. Definitely recommend.

 

What are you reading these days?

 

 

 

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Loaves and Fishes

June 5th, 2013

Several themes have been coming up for me lately in a variety of places: the meaning of the Eucharist, the ideas of scarcity and abundance, what it means to have enough, and what it means to give.

 

The lectionary text for this last Sunday was the passage in Luke 7:1-10 about the feeding of the five thousand. It’s a story that I’ve heard a lot, especially growing up in the church. In my childhood the emphasis was on Jesus doing a miracle, in the liberal church it’s been more about the importance of sharing. I like the interpretation of sharing, but it always seemed at least somewhat thin. Unknown

 

On Sunday I visited a Catholic intentional Eucharistic community. It’s a place that separated themselves from the Roman Catholic church and everything there is lay led. This Sunday, one woman led the children’s message on the passage and then did a very, very short homily and asked us all to think about what resonated for us in the passage. Then she invited people to share. Now, asking a room of 200 people to share their thoughts is risky, and I have to admit that I was already dreading it. I didn’t think I would hear anything that I hadn’t heard a million times before but I was surprised.

 

In the silence before she opened up the floor I was thinking, I wonder why Jesus had the people sit down in groups of 50? There must be a reason for the number. I was making mental notes to go home and research the exact meaning of 50 (this is what happens when a preacher goes to church). Then people started to share. It started off with the usual stuff and then someone spoke and it was a lightbulb moment for me. She said, “Jesus sat them down in groups of 50 because if you’re in a group of 50 you can’t hold back.” Yes! That’s it!

 

At Camp Osiris we talked a lot about the radical implications of following Jesus, about what it would mean for us if Jesus really meant “sell all you have and give it to the poor”. We were talking about how if everyone was that committed it would make a real difference in the world and someone said, “what if I go all in and no one else does?” And that’s the question, right? If I give everything I have, will I still be taken care of?

 

People often criticize me when I say that it’s not the job of politicians to take care of people: it’s the job of the church. They say “we can’t take care of everyone, the need is too great”. But often in the church we don’t know our neighbors or our community. We don’t even know the people sitting next to us in the pew.

 

Put them in groups of 50. If you’re in a group of 50 you can’t hold back. You can’t hold back because in a group of 50 you’re not denying food to a stranger you’re denying it to your neighbor, to a member of your community, to someone in your family. You can’t deny them because you know them.

 

Someone else in that service on Sunday said, we need to operate out of abundance, if we all share we’ll all have enough. And then someone else read this quote from Dorothy Day: “We cannot love God unless we love each other, and to love we must know each other. We know Him in the breaking of bread, and we know each other in the breaking of bread, and we are not alone anymore. Heaven is a banquet and life is a banquet, too, even with a crust, where there is companionship.”
― Dorothy Day, The Long Loneliness: The Autobiography of the Legendary Catholic Social Activist

 

The power of the Eucharist is that it trains us to share. It trains us to think of ourselves (and of everyone else) as part of the Body of Christ. We break bread together, we break bread with our family, we don’t hold back, we go all in because we know that we’ll be cared for. That is the real miracle and that is where the power is.

 

 

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Weekly Bookshelf

June 3rd, 2013

When I go into someone’s house or apartment for the first time, I find myself especially drawn to their bookshelves. I want to see the books that they read and the ones they have on display. I like to know which ones have mattered enough to keep, which ones are dogeared and worn, and which are on the stack to be read next.

 

It’s been an incredibly busy couple of weeks and so my reading has slowed way down! I only managed to finish one book this time around.

 

I read The Mass by Lucien Deiss. I’ve been looking for a volume that teaches your way through the Mass including both the history of liturgical reforms and the symbolism behind each part so that I could in turn do some teaching at the church plant. This book fit the bill perfectly. It’s a slim volume that is very easy to read. 312MTiRvV+L He goes through each section of the Mass and highlights the important gestures and the meanings behind them.

 

There were still a couple of parts where he was either confusing or rambled a bit, but overall I found this really accessible and helpful. I appreciated the way that he highlighted ancient forms of the various prayers and commented on how things have changed over the years.

 

In order to really understand this book, one would still have to have at least a slight working knowledge of how the Mass works which is a problem in Catholic books. I even read the dummies guide to the Catholic Mass and found it somewhat hard to follow. None of these books (even the ones that say that they are) are written with people in mind who haven’t grown up going to Mass. Still, this was a good start.

 

What are you reading these days?

 

 

 

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Reading Queerly

May 30th, 2013

Over the past ten years I have found myself doing two things over and over again: Coming out (the idea that you come out once and it’s all over is a fiction) and having conversations about the so-called “clobber passages”. As I’ve developed in my queer and trans* identity and in my understanding of the Bible I have grown weary of those conversations. It’s not that I can’t have them, in fact I can recite the stuff in my sleep, it’s that there is so much more to queerness and the Bible. 983595_538784366163138_1978636297_n

 

We’ve reduced everything to conversations on “homosexuality and the Bible” when in reality there are queer undertones all over the place if you know where to look. And there are so many issues that are queer issues: immigration, climate change, economic justice, prisons, and race just to name a few. We need a conversation, a movement, and a theology that thinks about the ways that all of these things are connected and what it means to follow Jesus in the midst of injustice.

 

That’s why I’m so excited about the course that Brian Gerald Murphy and I are rolling out today. It’s called Reading Queerly and it’s a six week multi-media course with videos, discussion questions, assignments, and access to an amazing online community.

 

This course is the beginning of a new conversation around queerness and the Bible. It’s a shift away from apologetics toward theology creation. It’s a way of reclaiming silenced voices and writing our own narratives. Some of the folks who have explored the material have said things like, “I had no idea you could read the Bible this way”, and “This is so much more exciting than conversations about the clobber passages”. We want you to join us in this conversation.

 

Check out Reading Queerly and sign up!

Weekly Bookshelf

May 20th, 2013

When I go into someone’s house or apartment for the first time, I find myself especially drawn to their bookshelves. I want to see the books that they read and the ones they have on display. I like to know which ones have mattered enough to keep, which ones are dogeared and worn, and which are on the stack to be read next.
Started out this week with Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 9 Volume 3: Guarded. I am a HUGE Buffy fan and have been really enjoying having the story continued in graphic novel form. There were some really amazing plot twists in this one that made it great to read. And, of course, the artwork is amazing. 9781616550998_p0_v1_s260x420

Next was A Darkly Hidden Truth (The Monastery Murders) by Donna Fletcher Crow. This book was much better than the one I read last week. The character development was better, the story had less holes, etc. I loved all of the history and the way she describes the churches and scenery. The ending left a little to be desired, but I feel like this is a series that’s going to continue to improve and I think I’ll stick with it for a while.
Next up was What You Do Best in the Body of Christ: Discover Your Spiritual Gifts, Personal Style, and God-Given Passion by Bruce Bugbee. This is a book that is all about figuring out what your spiritual gifts are and how best to use them. On the whole I liked this book; I especially like the way that the author encourages people to look at the intersection of their spiritual gifts, their personal style, and their passion. I haven’t seen many books that talk about all three areas. However, I can’t recommend this book because the theology was pretty bad and some of the questions in the questionnaire point to ways that I don’t necessarily believe God acts. I just wouldn’t want to give this book to folks without doing a LOT of unpacking of it, and that, to me, makes it not worth the bother.
Lastly I read Life in God’s Presence – A Simple Approach to Prayer by A Carthusian. The Carthusian monks are one of the world’s strictest monastic orders. Anyone who writes a book or essay from their order does so anonymously. I’m fascinated by the Carthusians and was excited to read this slim volume. There were parts that were really good, but I wanted more concrete examples than I got. But still a good volume.

 

What are you reading these days?

 

 

 

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Weekly Bookshelf

May 13th, 2013

When I go into someone’s house or apartment for the first time, I find myself especially drawn to their bookshelves. I want to see the books that they read and the ones they have on display. I like to know which ones have mattered enough to keep, which ones are dogeared and worn, and which are on the stack to be read next.

 

I am currently on a kick of reading mystery books with clergy as the detectives so we’ve got a couple in that vein this week. I read the next in the Merrily Watkins’ series by Phil Rickman The Smile of a Ghost (Merrily Watkins Mysteries). Again these books about about a Church of England vicar who is also the Diocesan Deliverance Minister (aka exorcist). In this one there a town that seems to be haunted and no one is as they seem. Very enjoyable.

 

Next up in the clergy detective vein is A Very Private Grave (The Monastery Murders) by Donna Fletcher Crow. This book follows a young seminary student named Felicity and a priest named Father Antony. A monk is found murdered and it’s up to Felicity and the Father to figure out who did it and why.

 

I enjoyed this book but it had some serious problems. In one instance a character disappeared (with no mention) for five chapters and then suddenly reappears. There were also some moments where the characterizations were just really off and some repetitive inner monologues that got rather annoying. But the story itself was really interesting and included a lot of church history that I found fascinating. The different places they travel to are incredibly well researched and well-described. On the whole I enjoyed this one, in spite of the problems, and will probably give at least the next book in the series a try.
Then I read Practicing Greatness: 7 Disciplines of Extraordinary Spiritual Leaders (Jossey-Bass Leadership Network Series) by Reggie McNeal and Ken Blanchard. 510mUv9YclL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_SX225_SY300_CR,0,0,225,300_SH20_OU01_ This book wasn’t stellar, but it was still pretty good. I found some of it too simplistic and some of the theology was off-putting, but there were also some really good insights. I also appreciated that the author used examples of women in leadership throughout. This book also encourages folks to really understand themselves and to get professional help from a therapist (which I find to be rare for many Christian books who frown on therapy and psychology). Definitely some good stuff in here even if I wouldn’t rate it five stars.

 

What are you reading these days?

 

 

 

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Church Planter’s Diary

May 8th, 2013

As a part of being a church planter, I am using this space to share some reflections about this journey in the hopes that it will be an encouragement and aid to others. Check out the rest of the diary.

 

We are about halfway through our launch group process for House of the Transfiguration. I can’t believe how quickly it’s going. Each week we are looking at part of our Vision Frame.cpdgraphic

 

Things have been going really well so far. There’s been a few steady people with others drifting in and out. It feels like people are starting to get excited about the vision which is really great to see.

 

One of the things I am learning is that there is a lot of translation needed. For folks who have been Catholic all of their lives some of the conversations about evangelical practices seem to not make sense. For folks who haven’t had much exposure to the Catholic Mass that remains a bit of a mystery. That’s the tricky part about doing a fusion of traditions and styles. It’s also the tricky thing about doing a launch group where you are talking about vision and not necessarily doing the stuff you’ll be doing in your weekly worship gathering. As we finish up working through our vision, our conversations will shift more towards what the worship gathering will look like.

 

In addition to the Launch Group meetings (which happen weekly), I am also working on securing space for us to worship in. I think we are really close to working things out with a host church which is really exciting. I reached out to a bunch of churches that were different enough from us stylistically but were in line with our values to see if anyone would be willing to host. Most of my emails weren’t returned. I had better luck connecting with folks I knew from other areas. It’s helpful to be able to visualize the space that we’ll be in and to start to think about what it will be like to be a worshipping community.

 

We are beginning to work on putting things together for the first preview gathering. Trying to find either a donated projector and screen or have someone donate money for a projector and screen. Still trying to find some musicians that can do both praise music and ancient church music, etc.

 

The other big project I’m/we’re working on is our presence at Pride. We got a generous donation that is allowing us to get a table at the Pride festival which is at the end of June. I am really excited about this opportunity because we’ll be able to get our materials into the hands of a lot of people very quickly and it’ll be just in time to invite folks to the first of our preview gatherings. The hard part is affording it. The donation covered the booth at Pride, a banner for the church, and a few giveaways. We still have to fund more printing and some other stuff for the table. The joy of Pride is that you reach a lot of people, the tough part of Pride is you need a TON of materials to be able to hand out to those people. We are fortunate that someone did some wonderful design work for us and so we have some really strong branding already so that means that our materials will look really nice.

 

We’re also going to be handing out glow in the dark rosaries which will be really fun. It’s a way to both show off our Catholic identity and have a little bit of fun. We’ve been asking folks to donate boxes of rosaries for us to hand out. They are $30 for a box of 100, so it’s quite reasonable. We also found a site that sells silicone wristbands that we got printed with our church website on them for really cheap so that’s cool.

 

The other thing that I am thinking through is what, exactly, to put on all of the printed materials. How do you succinctly explain who you are and what you do? We’re a part of a tradition that people aren’t very familiar with and even within that tradition we are doing things a little differently and so that’s hard to explain as well. I think the biggest thing is to let people know that we are open and welcome to queer and/or trans* folks. The rest can be figured out by looking at the website, etc.

 

I would love to hear from folks in the comments if you’ve had any particular success stories with tabling for your church or organization at Pride or some other community event! What did you hand out? What did you find people wanted to know? What did they ask? Etc. Let’s help each other out!

 

On a personal note: I am struggling with the fact that I don’t have a car. It makes it really difficult and time consuming to get to meetings, to trek equipment and materials all over the places, etc. I’ve been saving money, but it’s slow going. I would appreciate prayers for someone to either donate a car or donate money towards a vehicle because it would definitely help me do ministry more effectively.

 

The other thing I have been working on personally is my own leadership style. I’ve been working in a world where the idea of leadership has been frowned upon and so I have neglected that part of my personal development. I am doing a lot of reading about leadership, a lot of thinking about what works and doesn’t work for me, and a lot of praying that God will develop me as a leader and help me to lead from my strengths.

 

All in all, I am so thankful to be doing something that I have dreamed of since I was in high school. I have felt called to church planting for years and years and to finally be doing this work and ministry is a blessing every single day. I am so, so grateful.

 

 

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Personal Revelation

May 7th, 2013

Something has happened several times recently that left me feeling badly about myself. I’ve been out with friends or talking to someone I haven’t seen in a while and the question inevitably turns to what we we’ve been up to. So I rattle off all of the various things I am doing (which are work or ministry related). Then the person asks, “What do you do for fun?” And I pause. Then I tell them that I mostly hang out at home and read books. They look at me with a bit of pity and I try to come up with something more exciting.

 

I leave the conversation feeling like I should be more exciting. I should get out and do more stuff! I should explore! I should meet new people!

 

Then I had a three part realization:

 

1: I really love the work I am doing right now. It is work that I feel called to, work that fulfills me, work that I have been dreaming of for years. I love church planting. I love directing Camp Osiris. I love teaching Queer Theology. All of this stuff excites me! And honestly, I am doing all of these projects after I work a full day/week.

 

2: I am an introvert. Which means that after I work a full day and then come home and work on either the church start, camp, or queer theology, I am exhausted and need time to recharge. I need time that is quiet, where I can read, reflect, etc.how-to-care-for-introverts

 

and 3: I like being at home by myself and reading! I like being able to putter around my apartment and do whatever feels right in the moment. I like being able to stay in bed all day with a good book, take a nap if I feel sleepy, cook delicious food, watch baseball, etc.

 

So I have decided to not feel guilty any more if people think I am not exciting enough. I am not going to feel like a loser for staying home and doing stuff that I enjoy. I am not going to feel like a workaholic for spending my time on projects that I am passionate about.

 

My life might seem anti-climactic to some folks, but honestly I am the most at peace and the most fulfilled I have ever been. I feel like I am exactly where I need to be. (And sometimes where I need to be is hanging out at home, alone, for the entire weekend.)

 

 

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Weekly Bookshelf

May 6th, 2013

When I go into someone’s house or apartment for the first time, I find myself especially drawn to their bookshelves. I want to see the books that they read and the ones they have on display. I like to know which ones have mattered enough to keep, which ones are dogeared and worn, and which are on the stack to be read next.

I’m still loving the Merrily Watkins’ series by Phil Rickman. I just finished Prayer of the Night Shepherd (Merrily Watkins 6). Again these books about about a Church of England vicar who is also the Diocesan Deliverance Minister (aka exorcist). In this book there is a twist on the backstory of Conan Doyle’s “The Hound of the Baskervilles”. Again, the perfect mix of mystery and creepy. Love it!

 

Next up was The Catalyst Leader: 8 Essentials for Becoming a Change Maker by Brad Lomenick. This is a brand new book about essentials of leadership. It was an easy read and I really appreciated his insight. It’s a Christian book and clearly the author is a bit more evangelical, but I appreciated how he made his insights applicable for people across the spectrum (rare for books like this) and that he included a whole bunch of women in his examples and in his leaders to look out for.

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I am in a place where I am learning to cultivate my own leadership style (as well as embracing the fact that I am, indeed, a leader) and so I am finding books like this to be incredibly helpful and encouraging. I’ve been running in circles the past couple of years with people who really despise talk of leadership and so I haven’t done as much thinking and growing in this area. Books like this one are a wonderful help to counteract the lack that I’ve been feeling in my own development.

 

What are you reading these days?

 

 

 

*All links go to my Amazon affiliate page. If you purchase something I get a cut which helps to support this website.*

Did you miss the announcement of the new project I’m working on? Check it out!


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