I’ve been writing about the things I miss from my evangelical days. I wrote here about my experience of christian books/bookstores. This is the next post in that series.
One of the things I really miss about my evangelical days is the worship. I miss having worship (particularly music) that moves me and worship songs that I can actually sing.
I come from a tradition that did worship music in a way that was emotionally meaningful to me. It was stylistically accessible to someone who loves folk and pop music (and even some rock occasionally). I could sing at full volume and sing harmony by ear and rarely had to worry that there was going to be some weird flat or sharp that would mess up the melody line. (I can’t read music so that stuff sneaks out like a freaking ninja and trips me up!)
In the church I work at the music is high church. It’s all hymns and organ. It’s anthems sung in German and Latin. It’s featured soloists and classical musicians. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of that, but it doesn’t move me. I can’t belt out a hymn when it’s accompanied by an organ. To their credit, the congregation does sing with gusto, but it’s not the same.
And there are no hands raised, no dancing, no closed eyes and raised faces. I miss that. I hear people complain about repetitive worship songs, but the beauty of those songs is that you can learn them quickly and not need lyrics to keep singing. It allows you to get lost in the music and to enter into worship.
I know that some folks think that worship music is emotional manipulation, and it certainly can be, but it can also be used to tap into emotion in a healthy way and to reach places that wouldn’t be able to be reached without the music.
I also miss being able to sing worship music and have it reflect what I believe. Now I listen to worship songs and I just can’t do it. Either it only refers to God as a man, or it’s just about Jesus and me and lacks any social component, or it’s about how life is nothing and someday we’ll all just go to heaven and be happy.
These days I sing along with Mumford & Sons, but I want more music like this. I want to be in a community of people who aren’t afraid of a good folk or pop song. I want high quality music that sounds like something I would listen to throughout the week, not just in church. I want to be able to raise my hands and dance. I want to close my eyes and sing my heart out. I want guitars and drums.
I want protest songs updated. I want Jesus mixed with justice. I want expansive language about God. I don’t want to sing about heaven and deny life on earth.
And it’s not just about the music, but about the community. About worship as a way to recharge from the work that we’re doing together. Music as a way to bring people together and get them energized.
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I’m more of a hymns guy, myself. Most modern worship songs just say things like “You are God” or “You are Lord” without really explaining why that’s so significant.
I still listen to some CCM, like Derek Webb and Sara Groves.
I like a lot of hymns (although even in some of those the theology is a mess), but i find them to be unsingable. If they were more contemporary musically I could get on the hymn train.
Oh, I can’t sing any hymns (or any music for that matter). I just think they sound better.
And here are my “worship” songs:
-”The Transfiguration” by Sufjan Stevens
-”Come to Jesus” by Mindy Smith
-”Instead of a Show” by Jon Foreman
-”Roll Away Your Stone” by Mumford and Sons
Here are some songs that are worshipful to me:
“Come On Forest Fire Burn The Disco Down” by Rae Spoon
“I Am Not My Hair” by India.Arie
“What’s Going On” by Marvin Gaye (and later Artists Against AIDS Worldwide)
“Talkin’ Bout A Revolution” by Tracy Chapman
“Power To The People” by Black Eyed Peas (originally by John Lennon)
“Kenji” by Fort Minor
“I Have Forgiven Jesus” by Morissey
“Taking the Long Way” and “Not Ready To Make Nice” by The Dixie Chicks
Thanks Brian! I’ll have to check these out. I will say I have many songs that I find worshipful but that aren’t necessarily good for group singing. I guess I should have been clear about that, too, I REALLY MISS group singing!!
My “worship” songs…
Bearing Witness by David Bazan
Son The Father by Fucked Up
The Sun & The Moon by mewithoutYou
I’ll check these out!
I miss singing several songs in a row, which supported me in actually getting into a place of worship (rather than having them as liturgical breaks in between spoken pieces).
I miss not being able to predict everything that is going to happen that day the moment I see the paper on my chair.
I miss worship leaders who feel called to lead a community into song, whose lives are dedicated to worship, who spend time prayerfully preparing for the services and who attend worship leader conferences and seminars to connect their hearts to what they are doing, get inspired and learn new stuff (such as how to write new songs).
If I didn’t also want to do so many other things, I would love to do that. Figure out what it means to be a worship leader in the type of community you describe, and then support people in connecting to their hearts and to God’s heart in song.
And I also so badly miss having a bunch of CDs at home that I would joyfully listen to during the week, that deeply meet my need for meaning and where even the lyrics make my heart sing.
There must be deeply spiritual songs that actually sound pleasurable to my ears sitting in the heart of someone waiting to come out.
Or some day I will get some musical training.
And: How do you explain to people who have never experienced anything other than organ or piano how it feels like to sing in a different way?
I’m not saying everybody needs to love the same music.
I agree music can be used in ways I wouldn’t want it to be used.
But rather than making that a reason to keep music distant and unemotional, I am longing to see worship leaders who are completely aware of the power of music. Who know about it, and handle the responsibility. Who challenge people to both open their hearts and to be sensitive to stuff that doesn’t sit quite right in them (Like: Lyrics. Let’s talk about it if they feel weird. Maybe there’s something to learn from that).
Anyway, thanks for writing that post!
Yes to all of this!
I definitely miss groups of songs which allow you to really enter into another space.
I do think that liturgy, done well, can be the same type of prayerful experience (and can be planned in a prayerful experience) to really move people. But so often we just plug pieces in without really thinking about flow and movement. Worship leading tends to think more about that flow and movement (in my experience).
and honestly, there is something about groups singing worship songs that are different than groups singing hymns. it’s a different physical experience that I’m not sure I can adequately explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it.
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Anarchist Reverend » What I Miss About My Evangelical Days part 3
For me too, it’s not always about the song. There are plenty of songs I sing at church (Jacob’s Well in KC) I don’t fully accept theologically. But it comes down to wanting some kind of camaraderie with this community of people. A sermon is similar for me, too. Anymore, it’s more a common experience than a particularly impactful lecture time (although they can be). That said, a lot of the songs we sing are more in line with what you’re talking about. We do have some protest songs. And some songs that don’t have male pronouns. And an awful lot that aren’t about Jesus being my boyfriend. I don’t know if I can remember a heaven-bound song ever.
Try Even the Darkness Will not Be Dark to You: http://mikecrawfordmusic.com/recordings/sfjw/
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Anarchist Reverend » What I Miss From My Evangelical Days Part 6
The music is the last thing I miss; I adore the music in my cathedral. But, I recognize others do not. There is something to be said for either variation between parish or for different kinds of services.
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Anarchist Reverend » Best of Both Worlds
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Anarchist Reverend » What I Miss About My Evangelical Days Part Nine
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Anarchist Reverend » What I Miss About My Evangelical Days Part Eight
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Anarchist Reverend » What I Miss From My Evangelical Days Part 4
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Anarchist Reverend » What I Miss About My Evangelical Days Part Seven
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Anarchist Reverend » What I Miss About My Evangelical Days Part 5