Sometimes ministry feels like failure. It feels like all of the things you didn’t get done. All of the ways you could or should have done better. It looks like the people who didn’t show up to your event instead of the ones who did. It looks like the email you didn’t answer fast enough instead of the 100 you answered right as they came in. It’s messy and sometimes ugly.
Sometimes ministry is wearing an alb backwards or tripping walking up the chancel steps. It’s forgetting the words or stumbling over someone’s name.
This year has felt a lot like failure. The church start worked and then it didn’t and then it stalled. Other ventures didn’t get enough people or attention. I have wondered sometimes what to do next, how to move forward. I have even wondered if moving forward was worth it. Maybe I should look for something else to do with my time. Maybe I’m not cut out for this kind of work.
Sometimes that’s just the way it is. But then you get up. You keep going. You learn from your mistakes and you realize that sometimes it isn’t failure it’s growth. Sometimes you’re figuring out what doesn’t work so you can get to what does. And you hang on to that. And you trust that God can work even through your goofs.
Sometimes ministry feels like failure. And sometimes that’s okay.