In all of the lead up to (and excitement around) my ordination, another milestone in my life happened that I didn’t really take the time to reflect on. On January 18 I marked the fifth anniversary of my first shot of testosterone. That was the day when I really began to live my life.
It was both a stressful and wonderful day. My (now ex) wife and I went into the city early to hang out before the doctor’s appointment. I was stressed out all day because I kept expecting something to go wrong. The clinic that I went to had a history of miscommunication and/or wrong scheduling. When it finally came time for my appointment the doctor was running late. We waited over an hour before I could even be seen. The clinic was closing, but a very nice nurse hung around while we went to get the prescription filled.
After I got the shot, we went to one of my favorite restaurants in the city and met up with friends for a celebration. We gave everyone blue “it’s a boy” bubblegum cigars. The next morning I woke up feeling more refreshed and energized than I had in months.
I can’t believe it’s been five years. When I was first starting out on my transition I envied the guys who had hit five years. They all looked so comfortable in their skin, so happy, so male. I thought that I would never get there. And now here I am.
I had no idea that my life would take the twists and turns it has. When I started my transition I was married, still in graduate school, living on the east coast. I had no idea what I would do with my life, no idea what church would ordain me. I was struggling to make it through each day. I was terrified about losing my family and my friends. I was miserable.
I look at my life now and I am so incredibly happy. I am thankful for everything that has happened (even the difficult things) and I experience a peace now that I didn’t even know was possible before.
My transition has been one of the biggest blessings of my life.